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I didn't know if he could play chess, or if he liked any of the books I did, or if he even tipped waiters well. To find him during this part of my life was torment because my life was already written.He was someone I was actually myself with, and that was horrific and shattering for me because then he could truly hurt me. All my life I was a stereotype, and how I loved it! Blonde, busty and bitchy. It wasn't who it was, but I let it be what I was. Men idealized me and that was all swell. I played coy with the men that liked that; I was domineering with the men who liked a challenge.Now I was in bed with a man I didn't know at all, who was this strange dichotomy of rich and poor, of kind and cruel to the point he was fucking his partner's wife, of surprisingly soft and devastatingly hard. Everyone had to be human, I supposed. Everyone possessed shadows that held all of the things they were, they could be, they wished to be, that they failed being. Everybody was really a shapeless. ” She looked me straight in the eye for a moment, and then looked down at the floor.“Well, I guess I could call Mister Erickson ‘Daddy Two,’ huh? Maybe I ought to call over to his house and tell Missus Erickson, ‘Hi this is Bobby. Let me speak to my dad.’ Her face paled. “Oh my god, don’t you dare even think of it. Do you realize the damage you could cause, the hurt to innocent people?”“You mean, like a clueless son who sees his mom with a fat old bastard’s cock in her mouth? Is that the kind of innocent you are talking about?” “You are making this so hard.” The tears started up again.“Well, I’m sure as hell not hard. Let’s tell Dad and see if he gets hard.” I decided not to cut her any slack at all. “Robert,” she told me through the tears, “Right now you have the ability to destroy five lives, counting yours and two marriages as well. Is that what you want?”“Truthfully?” I tried to answer and broke down, “Oh Mom, how could you?” I started blubbering. “I don’t know what I want. This.
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